This is where it all comes together.
You’re on your way to becoming whole and healed. Living in alignment with your authentic self is invigorating. By the time you reach this phase, your level of self-awareness will have improved dramatically.
The Congruence phase is where you begin to design a life that reflects your temperament and values. You get to become more fully who you are. You begin the march toward becoming the best version of yourself.
Embracing Change
(especially when it’s scary)
Much of the process in this phase has to do with identifying and game-planning wanted life changes that evoke fear.
Change is scary. As we learned during the Discovery phase, we’ve all hidden away aspects of ourselves that were unsafe to show, especially when we were younger.
For example, when Josh was a boy, he was ostracized when he shared an idea. He happens to be a very creative, outside-the-box thinker, but he learned that in order not to be punished, he had to keep his ideas to himself.
Beginning to share his opinions was risky. He wondered, “Will I be criticized? Rejected? Will others think I’m stupid? Will I lose my job if I assert my opinions?” We explored Josh’s fears, and he decided it was vital that he begin to be himself and share his perspectives at work.
He began to speak up more in team meetings, and the best possible outcome happened: he was praised, and his input was valued. His self-esteem and confidence improved, and eventually he was elevated to team leader on several projects.
Anna’s story of congruence
Here’s another example from another former client, Anna.
Anna didn’t have the same supportive environment as Josh, so her path to personal transformation looked a little different. We focus on inner mastery when we work with coaching clients, but we also do an environmental assessment to understand all the systems a client is part of and how those systems support personal growth and change.
One system Anna focused on was work. She described work as toxic. Her boss was prone to fits of rage. Excessive work was dumped on her every week, and there was a heightened sense of tension among her co-workers due to the aggressive leadership style there.
Anna identified several personal traits she wanted to activate at work. Her faith is very strong, she is a playful person by nature, and she’s a helper (Type 2 on the Enneagram). Helpers have a tendency to serve others but neglect attending to their own needs.
In our coaching work, Anna began to develop more self-respect for her many excellent qualities as a person and professional. Her first decision was to try to make her work environment one that would work for her. She began to say “no” to additional work, and as she asserted herself, other people respected her more.
She allied herself with a co-worker who also had a strong faith life, and they decided to print out a bible quote or spiritual quote each week and tape a copy to their computer monitors. On breaks, Anna scoured social media to find funny videos and share them with the rest of the staff. Her efforts made a positive impact on her environment, and she experienced more satisfaction at work.
However, several months later, she decided that her level of work satisfaction was still not acceptable. The environment was too oppressive, and she now believed she deserved better. She began searching for new employment and was committed to interviewing them as much as they interviewed her. She finally settled on a faith-based organization where the culture is lighter, more hope-filled, and more supportive, and she now works from home.
Purpose-driven vocation is one of Dave’s core values. Prior to the birth of his first child in 1997, Dave dedicated a tremendous amount of time, energy and resources toward his professional development. When his son was born, everything changed. Having a purpose-driven career was and still is a core value, but family values rocketed to the top of his priorities, and he adjusted his life to focus on that value over others.
As we help coaching clients determine their action steps, we always take several things into consideration. How would you like to take action on a particular value? Are you in environments that will support this change? When is the right time in your life to make this change?
Honing in on Core Values
One thing that makes Inspire Coaching unique is our perspective on core values.
Other life coaches do some type of values assessment with their clients, but the great majority look at values as static. In actuality, values are dynamic and fluctuate depending on what’s currently going on in our lives. Core values themselves rarely change, but the importance of each value at each particular moment in our lives may impact how much we prioritize it.
An ongoing process of transformation
The wonderful thing about the Harmony Model of personal transformation is that it’s circular in nature.
Those who work through the Congruence phase experience a much deeper life satisfaction. When you know who you are and show up as yourself in life, life itself becomes much more of a joy-filled experience.
But knowing yourself is a life-long journey, and coming home to yourself happens in stages over time. So the Congruence phase is not an end to the journey, but evidence that you’ve started on the adventure of your life and have been empowered to write the next chapter as you would like it to be.
Find harmony and transformation with Inspire Coaching
Our greatest wish is to help you achieve harmony through inner congruence. We want you to become the best version of yourself you can possibly be. This is the “why” that gets us up in the morning.
If you’d like to see what this could look like for you, simply click below to get started with a free discovery session.